RTD’s Bus Service released a new safety video and we have the transcript here. A CU Bluffs piece by Shannon Ross.
Satire
CU Bluffs: CU unveils new diversity initiative to recruit ‘every kind of white person’
The school will focus on those with absurd hairstyles and questionable fashion sense to achieve their diversity quota. By Shannon Ross
CU Bluffs: Modest CU Sophomore on his illustrious public spitting career
CU Boulder’s own Eric Benson does the school proud by showcasing his world-class spitting ability. By Camille Sauers
CU Bluffs: Regents find enough money in budget for one teeny, tiny chair
CU has generously scrapped together enough money to fund the acquisition of one teeny, tiny chair for students. By Shannon Ross
The Hill Dweller: A story of carelessness on The Hill
A University Hill resident braves the wasteland to get to the football game in time. A modern epic by Harley Powell
CU Bluffs: New study suggest 24 hours of sleep reverses climate change
CU climate scientists report that sleep reduces carbon levels. Students are spearheading the fight against climate change. By Conner Kingsley
CU Bluffs: Congress proposes bill to safeguard sperm, sparks uprising
The Justice for Immaterial Zygotes Act is only in early stages of conception but is already causing outrage in men.
CU Bluffs: #newyearnewcatcallingtechnique
#Progressive
CU Bluffs: DIA to auction bunkers to election ’16 escapees
In anticipation of the upcoming presidential election results, the elite are moving underground and into luxurious bunkers.
CU Bluffs: PSL most sarcastically popular beverage of Fall
The Pumpkin Spice Latte’s popularity and record-breaking sales owes credit to countless artists just trying to make a statement.