Satire

Toilet paper aisles are going empty and poopers are getting desperate. Here are six thrifty TP solutions to get you through the pandemic. By Alex Mumm

It turns out all of your insecurities are true. Literally no one likes you. By Alex Mumm

Some students are tired of law and order, so they formed a club to talk about it. By Alex Mumm

CU Boulder has fallen off of the top party school rankings. The president of the university wants to change that. By Alex Mumm

Passive voice cannot be detected by students at CU Boulder, which is angering professors. By Alex Mumm

The more confusing the word, the smarter you are. By Alex Mumm

The word “sidewalk” sounds too much like “side chick,” leading some CU students to advocate for changing the word altogether. By Alex Mumm

American society is enduring a crisis in the accessibility of higher education. The proletariat must rise up. By Sam Metivier

RTD’s Bus Service released a new safety video and we have the transcript here. A CU Bluffs piece by Shannon Ross.

The school will focus on those with absurd hairstyles and questionable fashion sense to achieve their diversity quota. By Shannon Ross