Opinion

Max Karson, writer of “The Yeti,” doesn’t believe that girls can’t have orgasms. He doesn’t believe that anorexia is a good thing. He doesn’t want to ship all the minority students from CU to a segregated campus at Greeley. Karson is just a clever guy who attacks backwards-thinking people at CU by pretending to be one.

“The Yeti” once again uses outrageous material to stir emotions on the CU campus.

The multi-talented and bright individual that writes these issues has a good handle on journalism; however, shock-value and reader manipulation create a biased paper.

Anyone lacking in ethical values and notions of human decency might do well to consider a career with the Recording Industry Association of America. At least, that is what can be inferred from the RIAA’s most recent move against music piracy, as well as their general order of business.

Can anybody seriously raise their hand and admit they legitimately watch “Hogan Knows Best?” With a finite number of blinks in a lifetime, why waste your eyes on a show as totally lame as “Big Brother?” And who the hell is Kristin Cavalleri? Reality TV is infecting the cable box like Ebola would a Petri dish.

Anyone who lives in Boulder probably knows that marijuana offenses of less than 1 ounce tend to get treated pretty lightly. Anyone who has been under 21 in Boulder probably knows that getting caught drinking usually results in hefty fines, alcohol classes, in some cases expulsion from school, and court cases.

How can you quantify a program? What does it mean to place a price tag on something like an art gallery, or a wellness kit? I can tell you what it means, it means rigging the game to set each of these programs up to fail. In a way, I feel that this entire budgeting process has been a game, setting us all up to fail.

Just when I thought those crazy kids on UCSU had their act together, they’ve once again fallen into a mindless conniption, kicking and screaming about like a puppy who just got spanked for peeing on the carpet. Now they want what essentially amounts to a special-interest discount on the use of facilities in the university’s cost centers, such as the UMC.

UCSU, the governing body that has served as the object of my contempt and disdain for nearly my entire tenure as a student, once again faces the task of balancing the budget. And throwing a wrench in that plan is Wardenburg Health Center’s whopping request for an 18 percent budget increase.

A Janjaweed soldier, anxious to tell his Islamic brothers about his daily triumph, walks back to his camp. His rifle, hanging over his shoulder, stings when it touches his skin from the barrel being discharged five times today. A boy, three girls and a mother felt the bullets shatter through their skulls before the curtain came down on their lives. The soldier took an oath on the Koran, and he fulfilled it today.

After a weekend of vicariously experiencing the X-Game’s speed, spins, and spills, I decided that skiing is a better sport than snowboarding.