When first deciding to attend CU, you might have expected constant partying with drugs, alcohol and maybe hanging with the occasional stripper or two. However, those expectations probably changed once you realize that Colorado is notorious for handing out Minor in Possession tickets. Basically, they’re the tickets that screw over quite a few students who attend CU (because let’s be real — the majority of us are not actually legal until our junior year.) Luckily, I have few tips that can help prevent you from getting the lovely ticket of shame.
Don’t be stupid
Honestly, the majority of people that get MIPs are being stupid. They think they’re invincible, but until your ID says you’re actually 21, you are not invincible. The stupid people, or, as I like to call them, “the special ones,” think they can curse out a cop, walk around the streets with a bottle of beer or get into a fight and think that they won’t get in trouble. You will always get in trouble! So try your best to not be that idiot who you see getting chased down Pearl Street by the cops on a Friday night.
Hit on the cop
If you ever get into a situation that might lead to an MIP, the best thing to do is hit on the cop. Even if the cop is male and you’re a guy, do it: It might save your ass. You should definitely compliment the officer on how efficient they are at carrying out their job. Say things like, “Boulder wouldn’t be as safe with out your help,” or “I wouldn’t know what I would do if they didn’t have cops like you on the street.” Make it seem like they are actually “helping” the Boulder community by giving out MIPs. Also compliment his or her cop outfit. Say that they look sexy in it and that once you’re 21, you guys should get a beer together. Anyways, Officer Zimmerman, I’m still waiting on us getting that beer together.
Don’t show them a fake
There’s always a few people that think if they get caught drinking, the smartest thing for them to do is to hand a cop their fake ID. Once they see that ID, they know that your name is not Kelly Pickler and that you are not 25 years old. By giving the cop your fake, you end up screwing yourself even more. Instead of going home with just a misdemeanor, you end up being charged with a felony and most likely spending the night in Boulder County Jail, with the more unsavory characters of Boulder. So, try to be smart and not lose your “Kelly Pickler” ID because of one stupid mistake.
Don’t lie to the cop
When getting stopped by a cop, the first thing they tend to ask you is “how much have you had to drink tonight.” The way you answer that crucial statement could determine whether or not you end up with an MIP. Now, don’t be like me and say that you only had one beer at the party because they know that you had five beers, two tequila shots and four mixed drinks. The best thing for you to do is to be honest. Say that you’re are absolutely hammered and were doing keg stands all night. The cops will appreciate your honesty and might actually consider not giving you an MIP (but probably not).
Take the MIP like a champ
It’s sad to say, but there are times that you just can’t get out of an MIP. Times like these mean you should just suck it up and take that lovely ticket of yours and embrace it! Hang it up on your wall of shame (just like my roommate did). Act like getting that MIP was the coolest thing in the world and everyone should have one. Once everyone finds out that you got the notorious MIP, come up with some elaborate story on how you got it. Say that you were fighting off a bear with a beer can and that’s when the cop caught you. Whatever you say, just make it seem like you really enjoyed getting that MIP.
Contact CU Independent Grapevine Contributor Alex Myers at Alexandra.Myers@colorado.edu.