“Oh my god, the cow legit died when you tipped it?”
That cow is in a better place now <3.
Rachel: “Crazy Rachel came out of me this weekend for the first time in two years.”
Rachel’s friends: “But we don’t like Crazy Rachel, she scares us.”
Rachel: “Well, she’s back and not going away anytime soon.”
Feeling so bad for Rachel’s friends right now :(
“I thought I found a lucky penny, but I couldn’t pull it off the ground because it was stuck to a piece of gum.”
So close, yet so far.
“I want to wear a dress made out of hamburger buns!”
“The Buff Bus doors closed on me. Do you think that’s grounds for a lawsuit?”