Unlike students at most colleges, CU students have the pleasure of waiting until they are exactly 21 to gain entry to the notorious bars of Boulder. Of course, there are a few exceptions, like those slick and sneaky students that have been going since their freshman year. Whenever you start to enter the bar scene, it’s always an interesting time. Once there, you tend to run into the same types of people each week, and they always make an impression on you. Below are a few types of characters you might meet at the bars.
The Football Players
These guys storm into the bars like a pack of wild buffalo. They expect time and space to stop for them since they are on the “CU football team.” Little do they know, bragging about being on the football team is completely embarrassing. These guys try to score harder at the bar than they do on the field. By the end of the night they are either drunk off their asses or still talking about the game that they lost last week.
That Frat Douchebag
He travels in a pack wearing Vineyard Vines and pastel colors. Typically, he says stuff like, “Wanna come play some snappa?” or “My frat house had the sickest beachapalooza this year.” He won’t dare to talk to you unless he knows that you’re in one of the highest-ranked sororities on campus or DTF. He constantly brags about how amazing his fraternity is, hoping that you won’t notice that it got kicked off of campus last semester. He typically ends the night by asking you to go back to his frat house, in the hopes that you guys will be banging the night away on his mattress (on the floor, of course) of his basement bedroom (um, swerve).
The Person Who is Trying to Fight
There is always that one idiot at the bar who is mad at the world. They will do anything in their power just to get into a fight. You can be complimenting them on their fabulous new haircut and they’ll think that you’re insulting them in some way or another. Typically, this guy either pisses the wrong person off or ends up in the hands of the Boulder PD…we’ll let you have him, officer.
Your New Bestie for The Night
This tends to happen to girls more than guys but this person ends up being your buddy for the night. You meet this person at the beginning of the night (in the bathroom, let’s be real), and bond about the one thing you have in common. This commonality can be anything from sleeping with the same person, or just having the same hair color. All night long, you and your best friend for the night run around the bar getting drunk together, snapchatting like you’ve known each other for years. By the next morning, you wake up wondering who this random girl is, and why did she like all your Instagram posts? Anyways, Megan, you’ll always be my girl.
That “Schwasted” Girl
We’ve all been that drunk girl once in our lives. I’ve been her more times than I’d like to admit. This girl is one of the drunkest people at the bar. She’s slurring her words and falling all over the place. She keeps on repeating “just one more drink” or “I’m not that drunk.” Everyone tries to avoid her. By the end of the night, she either is blacklisted from the bars or is passed out in some alleyway on Pearl Street.
Contact CU Independent Grapevine Contributor Alex Myers at Alexandra.Myers@colorado.edu.