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In college, you’ll probably have sex under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This may make you feel a lot more comfortable about having sex. This can make you first attempts at sober sex with your partner extremely awkward. It’ll take time to get over that mentality.
When having drunk sex, it’s very easy not to get connected. There are times that you don’t even remember having sex at all. By having sex under the influence, you can make a mistake and blame it on the alcohol. You can have sex with someone with a small penis and say, “Oh, I was drunk I completely don’t remember that.” Or you can cheat on your significant other and say, “the alcohol forced me to do it”.
Yet drunken sex is often sloppy and gross. People may say things that are weird and not sexy at all. When having drunk sex, you have to deal with whisky dick and whisky vagina — being inebriated to the point of being turned off. Whiskey dick and whiskey vagina ruin the mood for anyone that is trying to have fun that night. It’s turning no one on.
When having sober sex, you realize that you are actually having sex with this person. This is not a drunken, horny state anymore; you can actually become as intimate as possible with this individual. This, at times, can scare people. Intimacy is very scary when you are just getting close to someone. Students may be very shy the first few times when having sex with a new partner. But after a while, that goes away and you become more comfortable in your own skin.
I like there to be a connection between my partner and me. I prefer having control over how I am preforming. It disgusts me to know that I have probably been that drunken girl saying that horrendous stuff in bed.
Still, the first time I had sex sober with my ex-boyfriend, it was awkward. I thought to myself, “Wow, now you’ve seen me naked.” All I could think about was that this person saw the most intimate side of me. But after a while, I got over that fear and we really connected.
It’s sad to think that in college, there are many people that have never had sex sober. I know people that would rather have sex drunk. This mentality is extremely appalling. Having drunken sex once in a while is okay, but doing it every time creates an issue. You’re never really opening up to your partner.
Everyone has sex in college. Many have it drunk or high. Nevertheless, take that chance and open yourself up. Have sex sober; it might just be the best you’ve ever had in your life.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Alex Myers at alexandra.myers@colorado.edu.
