This political season has been filled with both dirty and clean politics – but mostly dirty.
These drinks offer both alcoholic (dirty) and non-alcoholic (clean) versions of Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. Support your favorite bipartisan presidential and vice presidential candidates on election night by drinking to their victory – or demise – with their representative drink.
Democratic Nominees
Barack Obama: Black Forest Berry Honest Tea
The president has been known to drink beer on occasion. However, his favorite drink is much healthier: iced tea. Honest Tea’s Black Forest Berry flavor specifically quenches the POTUS’ thirst.
The Dirty Obama: Chicago Iced Tea
The Chicago version of Long Island Iced Tea substitutes whisky for rum, and beer for lemonade and cola. Honor Obama’s post-college hometown and drink up.
Joe Biden: Buckler non-alcoholic beer
The vice president doesn’t drink due to a family history of alcoholism. Yes, all of his gaffes are from a sober Biden. However, Biden chose to drink a Buckler non-alcoholic beer during the “beer summit” of 2009. If you are the designated driver election night, this is a good alternative and will make you feel vice presidential.
The Dirty Biden: Susquehanna Brewing Co. 6th Generation Stock Ale
If Biden were to drink beer, he likely would choose a local brew from his hometown, Scranton, Penn. Susquehanna Brewing Company is just over 20 minutes outside of Scranton in Pittston. Despite opening just this year, Susquehanna has five blends already for sale. The 6th Generation Stock Ale would be the light choice for Biden.
Republican Nominees
Mitt Romney: Milk
Romney’s Mormon faith prohibits him from drinking “strong” drinks, including coffee, tea and alcohol. It’s safe to assume that Romney’s night cap is a cold glass of milk and nothing more.
The Dirty Romney: Night Cap
The Romneys can’t partake in this famous bedtime libation. But for those of us not confined to living the Mormon lifestyle, this combination of milk, rum and powdered sugar will help you get right to sleep after a tense election night.
Paul Ryan: Water
As a Wisconsinite, Ryan grew up around great Wisconsin beer and cites local brews Leinenkugel’s, Spotted Cow and Miller as some of his favorites. But if there’s one drink that has been noted as Ryan’s on the campaign trail, it was his copious glasses of water at the vice presidential debate. Hydrating like the GOP nominee may help calm your nerves as the returns come in.
The Dirty Ryan: Vodka
Vodka, straight up. I’m not implying that Ryan would down glasses vodka if drinking at a debate was acceptable. But with an election as close as this years, you never know which party will be celebrating, and which will need a stiff drink.
Contact CU Independent Entertainment Editor Avalon Jacka at Avalon.jacka@colorado.edu.
