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As someone who does her fair share of both biking and walking all over campus, I often find myself in circumstances that make me want to scream. Or, at the very least, kick someone. Instead of doing either of these, I wrote two letters, one to cyclists and one to pedestrians, that I hope will elucidate some of the more basic principles of biking/walking etiquette I know we’d all like to see more of.

Dear cyclists,

We know you’re in a rush, OK? We get it. We’ve all got places to go and classes to text during. But you guys don’t have to be so scary about it. Getting bumped into and knocked over is not on my to do list on any given day, and I think I speak for most when I ask you to calm down a bit.

When you’re passing any of us lowly pedestrians, a little “Hey, comin’ by” or “On your left” will go a long way. We may, in these instances, merely move over, or we may actually turn around to see exactly where you are, and do what we can to make sure you have safe passage through the next 10 feet of campus.

If, however, you’re trying to bike through a crowd of people who are already backpack-to-backpack, you’re out of luck. Trust me when I tell you that when you try to stay on your bike when you have to travel at a walking pace, you wobble and totter, and you look ridiculous. Just give up. Dismount and walk like the rest of us. It’s actually not so bad. And – get this – it’s super easy to get right back on your bike as soon as you’re out of the throng, and you can race away into the sunset all you want.

Sincerely,
The pedestrians

P.S. Yeah, hills are fun, but so is being alive. Slow down, Speed Racer.

Dear pedestrians,

Let’s pretend, for a minute, that traffic is organized in terms of lanes. Each person agrees to travel in his or her lane in a predictable manner so that everyone may get to where they’re going without crashing. Let’s also pretend that, even when there are no lines drawn on the road, the general consensus is that people keep to the right side. You know, for tradition’s sake.

This is literally all we ask of you. That’s it. We don’t need you to signal before you turn; we don’t want you to leap out of the way upon our approach; maybe we’d like you to look out for us before you start crossing the street, but we won’t be pushy about it. If a genie sprang out of the UMC fountains and granted me one wish, and one wish only, it would be that you on-footers would all decide that the right is an okay side of the pavement to walk on.

In some places on campus, the university has been so kind as to draw lanes for you, with little symbols and arrows to help you along your way. In these parts of campus, you have no excuse. If I see you walking in a bike lane, I will run you down, and I will be happy to do it. Come on, guys, you’re in college; you should be able to read pictures by now.

Cordially,
The cyclists

P.S. Headphones? Seriously? Do you have a death wish?

Contact CU Independent Staff Qriter Lauren Thurman at Lauren.thurman@colorado.edu