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(CU Independent Graphic Illustration/Josh Shettler)
(CU Independent Graphic Illustration/Josh Shettler)

#BoulderGirlProblems: Too hungover to hike?

It’s a valid question. And those of you who have been living in the People’s Republic of Boulder for long enough have probably had to ask yourself this very question. It’s a classic Boulder girl problem — issues that only a girl like yourself could understand. Are you too hungover to hike?

Trust me, ladies, I have been there. I’m a full-fledged outdoor enthusiast. It’s hard to pass up an opportunity to lace up my hiking boots and head into the wild Chris McCandless-style. But Colorado is microbrew country and Boulderites are a fun-loving people.

(CU Independent Graphic Illustration/Josh Shettler)

Here’s your scenario. It’s Friday night, your friend’s 21st birthday and you want to take her out to every cliché Boulder bar. You want to see her kiss the buffalo and ride the bull. You want her to go to The Downer for a flaming shot and to Connor O’Neill’s for a car bomb. On the other hand, you know that tomorrow will be perfect for a hike through Chautauqua. It’s going to be a breezy, cloudless day, and you’ve been itching for the outdoors all week. What’s a Boulder girl to do?

As a seasoned veteran to common Boulder girl problems, I’m going to tell you right now: you can do both. It takes some skillful juggling and some compromise, but it’s entirely possible. Lay out a few flexible guidelines and you’re good to go.

Aim for an early night. Remember, an early start means an early night, so if you play your cards right, you won’t miss much of the birthday festivities at all. Suggest to your friend that you start at Half Fast for dinner so that you can get some Strong Island pitchers. Be pushy if you have to; you need this to jump start the night.

Have fun without getting too crazy. It’s not even your birthday, so don’t steal your friend’s thunder. Go out and have a good time. Don’t hesitate to have a few drinks.  Take your friend to the Walrus, so that you can steal some swigs of her birthday champagne. Just remember that you have a schedule, so stick to it. A 21st birthday means there’s going to be lots of free drinks floating around, so show a little restraint. Do you really need that last Jell-O shot? Probably not. And after you’ve stumbled home (CU Nightride is always a good option), make sure to drink some water before hitting the hay.

Go easy on yourself in the morning. There’s no need to hurry out of bed at the break of dawn, summit Bear Peak and call it a day before noon. Take your time. Make your go-to hangover breakfast, whatever that may be. I usually spring for a breakfast burrito. Forget about the fat and sodium intake — you deserve this. Now drink some coffee, and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Whatever it takes. By 10 a.m., you should feel fresh and energized and ready for that hike.

Having a solid hiking buddy is often essential to sticking to the original plan of your hiking adventure. Hopefully, by this time in the morning, at least one of your roommates has also managed to rouse herself out of bed. Or, if you thought ahead, you asked one of your fellow bar-hoppers last night to go with you today.

You can entice your roommate or hiking buddy with the promise of some good exercise and a beautiful day. Encourage her to put off the homework until tomorrow. After all, it’s only Saturday, and it would be a shame to waste the first half of the weekend studying indoors. If she’s a like-minded outdoors girl, this shouldn’t take much convincing.

You’re ready to go! Your Boulder girl problem was skillfully avoided by your ability to juggle time appropriately — good work. You had a great night out on the town last night, and now you’re ready to hit the endless miles of trail that Boulder has to offer.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Taryne Tosetti at

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