I’m fashionable… you’re style-ish: Ballet flats ruined fashion

Imagine this with me, will you? I’m walking down the halls of Hale Science to class, fashionably late per the usual. In the quiet, a familiar sound breaks. Clack. I’d recognize the sound of a high heel anywhere. I turn around, eager to lay eyes on who was bound to be my best friend forever, at least for the next 10 seconds; striding behind me, a vision in Stuart Weitzman.

And pan to reality.

There were two fallacies in that little narrative you just read. One, that I am smart enough to take science classes and two, that the glorious sound was anything other than the lonely echo of my Frye boots on the cold floor.

(Photo courtesy of Jessica Matteazzi, flickr.com/jmatteazzi)

So what gives, ladies? What is the deal with the abundance of flats? If you’re going to stab fashion in the back, at least make it count and put a heel on it!

At the simple utterance of my distain for flats, I am all too often met with kicking, screaming, and the occasional crying. I suppose for the sake of my argument I should clarify that when I say flats I am speaking solely of ballerina flats. Conversely, I am by no means advocating for stiletto heels—I may be mean but I’m not cruel.

Rather, I am pleading to you in the sorority squat (because my Marc Jacobs skinny jeans are too tight to bend on my knees) for women to explore the wonderful world of shoes! Ballerina flats have given nothing to fashion. All they have done is stifled wardrobe creativity and given you stumpy legs.

Let’s play dress up, shall we? Let’s keep it simple with a pair of skinny jeans and a sheer blouse. To this outfit, a pair of flats would say “Hey team, let’s not turn any heads today and instead give all the attention to the hot girl behind us who decided to wear shoes with laces.”

Now let’s try this outfit again, but with heels. How about we compromise on bootie heels, sensible for walking yet a little saucier than those glorified socks you’re wearing. Add a peak-a-boo of a wool sock for a subtle but seasonally appropriate touch.

What about you girly girls? Wearing dresses without flats seems to be as compatible as two positive sides of a magnet.

A dress; with a go-to pair of flats, your ensemble says, “Let’s play a counting game—how many people will walk into us today mistaking us for part of the scenery?”

For this look, I’m going to sympathize with you more than before—I’m considerate, what can I say? Keep your center of gravity low and opt instead for an adorkable pair of oxfords. The juxtaposition of the two adds the perfect element of interest without looking like you tried too hard.

If the dress is simple, find a pair of oxfords with some character. The textures in oxfords will often tie your outfit up and wrap it in a bow. If your dress wears the pants in the relationship, tone it down and go for a rich color instead.

Having accessories that compliment and contribute to the aesthetic whole is what fashion is all about. Your feet should be important to you; they support you, carry you through your life’s journey, and some third motivational thing. The least you can do for them is give them a little personality.

Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Kyle Warner at Kyle.warner@colorado.edu.