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Thursday night at the bars can get pretty crazy, but us ladies can usually find solace in one place: the bathroom. Amid hordes of sweaty people and drinks being spilled three times a minute, it is nice to grab your friends for a quick break and run to the bathroom. Here, exhilarated women dressed in heels, boots, skirts, jeans, and sometimes leg warmers often squeal with delight at each other.
(Josh Shettler/CU Independent Illustration)
Because the music is so loud on the dance floor, and we often have quite a bit to talk about, it all must wait until the bathroom. We have to ask our friends who that person they were dancing with was, and sometimes ask if our eyeliner is running. There is at least one compliment exchanged between strangers per bathroom session. It seems everybody has a great top, perfectly straight hair, cute earrings, or sexy boots. And, after changing our outfits multiple times to trek down to Pearl, it feels great to have somebody notice how cute we look.
But this sense of female camaraderie would, we think, change if a male walked in. These same, rowdy, cheery women would probably stop dishing out hot gossip about who they like on the dance floor. They would probably stop exclaiming over each other’s shoes and shiny hair so loudly. An edge of worry and competition might enter the bathroom with a male. Girls may worry what the men are thinking and who they are checking out.
Suddenly, preening in the mirror might become more awkward and less fun in this situation. Staring at our reflections would remove the facade that our looks are effortless. Tampons would be hidden inside shirts and clutches instead of openly handed out to any woman in need. The whole dynamic would be altered.
On and off campus, however, many people do not identify with gender binaries presented by male and female restrooms. Many do not wish to talk to strangers, and many have friends of a different gender, disallowing them to share intimate conversations in the bathroom. In some situations, gender neutral bathrooms are much better than male/female bathrooms and can promote a greater sense of inclusiveness.
When Becky transferred into Hallett Hall her freshman year she was able to make many friends of similar and different genders in the gender neutral bathroom. Being able to brush teeth alongside friends of multiple gender-identities was a surprisingly nice, new experience. Never having realized the intimacy that such close vicinity can entail, Becky was happy to share many giggles with new friends, staring at each other in the bathroom mirror while foaming at the mouth. The shared bathroom made it easier to make friends casually.
But, Hallett was also one of the most accepting and open places Becky has had the opportunity to live in — not every dorm or off-campus home has such benefits. In places where people do not always respect each other — often because of a lack of understanding in gender identity — a positive experience with gender neutral bathrooms is not so simple. In order to create gender neutral bathrooms where people will respect their fellow bathroom users, more education and awareness has to happen surrounding gender identity. A good place to begin in the CU community is with Community Health’s presentation, “What is Gender Violence Anyway?”
Anxieties around the bathroom change are not unfounded — the bathroom is a very private place for many, especially for women who tend to use it as a social gathering place. Even so, creating more gender neutral bathrooms might increase acceptance of diversity, rather than prolong shame or awkwardness — at least in the long run. Without the gender identity barriers of traditional bathrooms, people use it and could get to know each other as people, as Becky did, instead of as just men and women.
Contact Feminism Columnists Becky Powell at Becky.powell@colorado.edu and Mira Winograd at Mira.winograd@colorado.edu.
