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We all do crazy things in our childhood. Believe it or not, I was once a member of my high school track team. Now before you get it twisted, don’t think for a second that I participated. Rather, I was the one lounging beside the track with a stack of magazines and diet water on the rocks, choosing not to hear my events called over the loudspeaker.
You may be wondering what were my motivations for joining the team. Working on my fitness? No. To be excused from my 7th period geography class? Maybe. Getting the matching hoodie and sweats combo? Yes.
Fortunately for me, I have emerged from my dark ages to realize that there is no place for sweats in public. Sadly, many of my peers have yet to learn this lesson. As I traverse my way across campus, I see more jersey fabric than I could shake a stick at. We’ve all graduated from Velcro shoes. It’s time to retire the elastic waistband.
(CU Independent Illustration/Chelsea Shettler)
I am already anticipating all of you athletic attire offenders biting at the bit and I know what you will say: “But Kyle, I’m going to work out later today.” Let me answer that by saying what you do with your time is your choosing. All I will say is nobody pulled a muscle reaching for the television remote.
But I digress, back to the issue at hand. I have found a simple solution to appease both parties. Rent a locker at the rec center. That way you can parade that gym body in cute ensembles out of the gym instead of hiding your hard work in frumpy sweats.
Reminder: excessive layers and draping only work on the Olsen twins.
As of Friday, a representative for the CU Rec Center stated an abundance of lockers available for check out by students. For $15 a semester, you can own your own private stash space for that head-to-toe look you walk in with. If you think about it, that’s nearly eight long island ice teas at Catacombs (and a subsequent sugar-induced reason to work out the next morning).
So pack that Lyrca American Apparel onesie in your Longchamp bag (which contrary to popular belief, doesn’t match your Nike sneakers and aerobics Barbie sweatband) and high tail it to the gym.
Maybe your excuse isn’t exercise though, and like me, you couldn’t point out the rec center on campus if your life depended on it. So what’s your excuse then? Pure laziness, that’s what.
I did a little experiment to see how long it took to put a pair of jeans on. Including applying the Crisco and getting a running start, it took me approximately 7.4 seconds to get into my skinny jeans.
I believe that if you set your morning alarm for a mere 10 seconds earlier than usual, it will grant you enough time to slip into a pair of jeans.
I might remind you that sweater weather is just around the corner, and to the fashionable, the sweater satisfies all the warmth and comfort a hoodie provides, but packaged in a look that is acceptable for the public eye.
So, with fall fashion forecasting looking as it does, a warm front of skinny bottoms and oversized tops is quickly approaching. Keep these tips in mind as you work out hard in the gym, and work it hard on the streets.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Kyle Warner at Kyle.R.Warner@gmail.com.
