Sex Talk: No strings attached?
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Commitment-free sex? Friends with benefits? Sounds great, right?
With movies like “No Strings Attached,” these sorts of relationships bring to light the idea of no commitment and instead, lots of fun. But with that comes the question: is it worth risking getting hurt for unlimited sex with a “friend?”
It can seem more appealing to have a crazy sex life than to deal with a relationship and everything that comes with it.
There are many pros that come with having a friend with benefits. Lots of sex, laughs, no obligations, and no fighting, to name a few. Because of this detachment, being more risky in the sheets can be a little easier as well. Nevertheless, being sex buddies has different effects on the parties involved.
For a lot of girls, attachment and the risk of getting hurt are inevitable when having a friend with benefits. It is in our DNA to feel more connected to someone emotionally after having sex. On the other hand, most men don’t usually have this problem. Having sex with someone without having any attachment is much easier.
Freedom is another upside. Friends with benefits keep anyone from feeling held down by one person. No one wants to give up the single life for someone that might not be perfect for them. Instead, they can keep their options open.
Being able to put an end to the relationship whenever is another plus. You’re able to keep your eyes open for “Mr. or Mrs. Right.” Not being held down to anything is a feeling that most people love. Sex and partners are no exception. Being able to change your mind and think no one will get hurt are great advantages to sex buddies. But in reality, the likelihood someone will get hurt is much higher than most people think.
The problem happens when one person becomes connected and the other feels nothing. Although sex is fun, it can come with the consequence of attachment. After a while, especially for us girls, starting to have a crush on the person we are seeing is natural and the hope that they feel the same is natural too. But unfortunately, most things don’t always turn out that way.
Sex may be fun for a little while, but the chances of getting hurt increase over time. Friends with benefits may be fun, but being able to distance yourself to a separate relationship from sex is something someone must be able to do. If you can do that, friends with benefits may be the way for you to go.
Sex is great, but if getting attached is easy for you, waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right patiently and the old fashioned way may be your best bet.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Hannah Flink at Hannah.flink@colorado.edu.
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