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OPINION- I’m going to pretend I have a penis for a full 24 hours, making every second that I have it count.
I expect to start my day off promptly with a morning boner and see what it�s like to deal with that. As opportunity has quite handsomely presented itself, I�d definitely jerk off for a few hours. The minute I get tired of touching myself, and who knows when that would be, I�d want to get head. I would want a huge floppy penis so I could swing it around majestically everywhere I went on my mystic journey for spectacular head. Eventually, I�d want to make it to a strip club, as I�m sure they�d be far more entertaining with an actual cock to tease. Then I�d go out with a bang and have an orgy with all the gorgeous gay men who wouldn�t touch me otherwise.
Oh, what a fantastic day it would be.
I asked a guy friend what he�d do if he had a vagina for a whole day. He said that if he woke up as a chick, the first thing he�d want to know is if a girl�s orgasm feels better than a guy�s orgasm. Secondly, he said he�d want to do all the things he couldn�t easily do as a guy, like screw other guys over for the most expensive tequila at the bars.
�If you had 24 hours to exploit that, you�d do everything you could,� he said.
Why would a nice little lady talk about or ponder such things? I feel that contemplation under a different perspective is a healthy way to better get to know your peers.
I interviewed a handful of CU students to see what would ensue with a simple switch of the genitals. I asked, �If you had a penis/vagina for a whole day, what would you do?�
What I got in return was intriguing conversation and insight that was much more profound than what such a silly query should have elicited.
Pretty much the first response I got from every person, regardless of their gender, was that they�d go masturbate or have sex. This affirmed what my friend had said earlier about wanting to experience sex and orgasms as the other gender.
As I progressed through the interviews, I was surprised by one particular finding: The way girls and guys reacted to the question were very different.
When I talked to the girls, they were all comfortable entertaining the idea of having a penis with their original bodies and responded as such. However, when I talked to guys, they responded as if I asked them what they�d do if they were a girl for a whole day. I thought it was interesting that many guys felt that possessing a vagina entailed a complete gender switch.
�Would I be a girl for an entire day? Would I still have a guy�s mindset?� they would ask. Apparently, it would be uncomfortable for lots of the guys to do what they wanted with a vagina while they could still think like men and so they preferred to contemplate an overall change.
Aside from that, I just think the responses I got were well-worth the humiliation of asking strangers such silly and perverse questions.
What would YOU do if you had a penis/vagina for a whole day?
Chicks with dicks
�Try boxers and briefs. I honestly want to know which feels better. I�d pee standing. Touch it. I wouldn�t be able to hit on guys, so I�d try his vagina out (points to guy friend sitting next to her). I feel it could change your personality for the worst. Things like mini-skirts and tights would be problematic,� said Nikki Smith, a 21-year-old junior journalism major.
�I�d want to get a boner and walk around to see how people would react to it. It�d be so funny,� said Amanda Cartwright, a 20-year-old sophomore math major.
�I�d stick it places,� said Anna Huey, a 19-year-old sophomore architecture major.
�I�d just be happy to stand up and pee,� said Taraneh Hockley, a 21-year-old senior architecture major.
�I�d want to have sex and write my name in the snow,� said Francesca Loomis, a 19-year-old freshman environmental studies and Italian major.
�Only one thing: I�d want to penis-whip somebody,� said Maura Williams, a 19-year-old junior English major.
�I�d be pretty pissed off. Then I�d probably whack off and convince myself that it�s not as cool as guys make it out to be. Then I�d pee all over the place,� said Magda Garbowski, a 21-year-old senior environmental studies and biology major.
�I�d slap my boyfriend in the face with it. I think it�s cool that guys can do that,� said Tonna Gilbert, a 21-year-old senior chemistry major.
�I�d try to find Angelina Jolie,� said Blaire Jennings, an 18-year-old freshman studio arts major.
�Totally masturbate. Also, I�d use that Penis Pokey book,� said Kristen Thawley, a 19-year-old sophomore art history major.
Man-ginas
�I�d sit down and pee and be in a lesbian orgy,� said Min Park, a 20-year-old sophomore open-option major.
�I�d go to the bars and get free drinks,� said Ryan Le, a 22-year-old senior engineering major.
�I would masturbate and try out a lot of stuff. �Like, �Ooh, what does this do?� You guys get all the good toys,� said Cesar Cantu, a 23-year-old senior psychology major.
�Masturbate, most likely,� said John Black, a 22-year-old senior art history major.
�I�ll go out and find someone to have sex with. You guys get multiple orgasms!� said Justin Kraegel, a 26-year-old senior architecture major.
�Scream,� said Blake Pfannenstiel, a 22-year-old senior architecture major.
�I would probably play with my vagina, and then I would have lesbian sex,� said one male 21-year-old junior communication and geology major who asked not to be identified.
�I would go to the clubs and bars just to see what interacting is like for males versus females. I�d also want to talk emotionally so I can come to understand where girls are coming from,� said Dustin Kloempken, a 22-year-old senior environmental studies major.
�I�d go down to Colfax and try to make as much money as I can,� said Marc Lebel, a 22-year-old senior chemical and biological engineering major.
Contact CU Independent Staff Writer Natalie Bui at Natalie.bui@colorado.edu.
